Last weekend, I decided to get my monthly Moroccan Hammam treatment at BNatural Spa in Ikeja. As far as I know, they are the only ones that provide this service in Lagos. (I do not know about Abuja).
The Moroccan Hammam is a nude treatment. As in N-U-D-E. So you better not have any inhibitions about a Moroccan woman seeing you naked and rubbing and scrubbing you down.
Anyway, the treatments has a number of steps. First, you get changed into a bath robe in the waiting room. You're also provided with a shower cap and rubber slippers. Then, you're slathered liberally in herbal soap (black soap if you please) and banished to a steam room for 20 minutes. Next, you're rinsed off by the specialist. And she will lift you (well bits and bobs of you anyway) at will to ensure that she gets all the soap off. Then, a thorough scrubbing down with a mitt that I swear is made of iron fillings and water. Another rinse off and then a herbal mask is slathered all over and you lay down on a marble slab for another 20 minutes or so before the final rinse. To finish it off, you are sprayed very lightly all over with Agave oil.
Anyway, the treatments has a number of steps. First, you get changed into a bath robe in the waiting room. You're also provided with a shower cap and rubber slippers. Then, you're slathered liberally in herbal soap (black soap if you please) and banished to a steam room for 20 minutes. Next, you're rinsed off by the specialist. And she will lift you (well bits and bobs of you anyway) at will to ensure that she gets all the soap off. Then, a thorough scrubbing down with a mitt that I swear is made of iron fillings and water. Another rinse off and then a herbal mask is slathered all over and you lay down on a marble slab for another 20 minutes or so before the final rinse. To finish it off, you are sprayed very lightly all over with Agave oil.
Now, it's a tedious treatment but the feeling of extra smooth and silky skin afterwards is waaaaaaaaay worth it.
So on Saturday, while I was lying covered in the herbal mask, I heard a number of women discussing with the specialist about the treatment. It was clear that they had never had the treatment done before. It started veering a little to the "I'm a madam and money is not a problem" side which was totally unnecessary if you ask me. But I could not have imagined what happened next.
You see, there is one waiting room with two small plush couches and a side table. I was done with my treatment so I walked in there to chill and get my post-treatment tea. There were three ladies in the waiting room - One in her late forties/early fifties (LF), the other in her forties (EF), and a young lady (YL), probably a teenager.
EF is what one would call a celebrity....for different reasons - ex-beauty queen, personal life scandals, brand built around herself.....
LF is a socialite. The kind of person that's always in ThisDay Style. YL, it seemed, is a niece to either LF or EF.
So there I was, sitting, sipping my tea when the specialist, Naima asked them to please get changed. So they said where and Naima said uhm, here. And then the drama started.
LF decided that since she knew the owner, she would not accept to be told to change in front of "everybody"... EF asked me if I had changed there. I said Yes. She looked at LF, who was still going off. EF and YL just kept quiet as she was their "Auntie".....She just went on and on and on about how this was not acceptable. Naima decided that it was wise to call the reception to ask them to prepare changing rooms for the three ladies as they had refused to change there.
Then LF really went there. She went on about how she would rather be at Clarins and that this would never happen at Clarins. Then she started complaining about the place, that she knows the vision her friend had for the place and that it's such a shame. All of this at the top of her voice.
And I just sat there in the waiting room, sipping my tea. After a little while, the poor perplexed receptionist came to find out what really happened, and told me that they had left. Poor Naima had vexed by this time too and was shouting. I said to the receptionist: They were being difficult. If she had waited five minutes, I would have gone in to get changed and they would have been alone.
Personally, I just think her Diva switch was turned on that morning. Funny thing is, I would have expected it from EF but not from LF. And well, what a perfect example they have now set for YL.
The staff went on to tell me about another ex-beauty queen who had come in the evening before and had insisted that Naima be asked to stay late to do her Hammam. The receptionists refused to do so as Naima was fasting and had been granted an earlier closing time to enable her cook and break her fast.
This ex-beauty queen threw the mother of all hissy fits before storming off.
Look, if you are rolling in billions and you can set up your own Hammam service in your house, please, by all means, be nasty, be rude, throw tantrums...you can go back home and nurse your anger with your money.
But if you are just vanilla rich, like a vast majority of people that frequent such places in Lagos, you need to calm down and just behave. Ki lo de???
I see it all the time, the "Do you know who I am" or "Your madam/oga is my friend/sister/aburo/auntie" syndrome. That ish is just played out. Get over yourselves. Everybody knows somebody. Everybody can claim to be a VIP or VVIP sef.
I called a designer recently and she was so normal and chill on the phone that I had to tell everyone who would listen what had transpired. She has the right to be a diva. If she had been, I wouldn't have been surprised.
Friends, there is no need. Nobody cares about your social/political/financial status when we're all paying the same money. If you want to be treated like a queen, I beg you, build a spa/salon/restaurant in your own house. Then you can be the Diva or Bitch that you feel like being.
At least, I know there are people worse than me in this Lagos ;)
EF is what one would call a celebrity....for different reasons - ex-beauty queen, personal life scandals, brand built around herself.....
LF is a socialite. The kind of person that's always in ThisDay Style. YL, it seemed, is a niece to either LF or EF.
So there I was, sitting, sipping my tea when the specialist, Naima asked them to please get changed. So they said where and Naima said uhm, here. And then the drama started.
LF decided that since she knew the owner, she would not accept to be told to change in front of "everybody"... EF asked me if I had changed there. I said Yes. She looked at LF, who was still going off. EF and YL just kept quiet as she was their "Auntie".....She just went on and on and on about how this was not acceptable. Naima decided that it was wise to call the reception to ask them to prepare changing rooms for the three ladies as they had refused to change there.
Then LF really went there. She went on about how she would rather be at Clarins and that this would never happen at Clarins. Then she started complaining about the place, that she knows the vision her friend had for the place and that it's such a shame. All of this at the top of her voice.
And I just sat there in the waiting room, sipping my tea. After a little while, the poor perplexed receptionist came to find out what really happened, and told me that they had left. Poor Naima had vexed by this time too and was shouting. I said to the receptionist: They were being difficult. If she had waited five minutes, I would have gone in to get changed and they would have been alone.
Personally, I just think her Diva switch was turned on that morning. Funny thing is, I would have expected it from EF but not from LF. And well, what a perfect example they have now set for YL.
The staff went on to tell me about another ex-beauty queen who had come in the evening before and had insisted that Naima be asked to stay late to do her Hammam. The receptionists refused to do so as Naima was fasting and had been granted an earlier closing time to enable her cook and break her fast.
This ex-beauty queen threw the mother of all hissy fits before storming off.
Look, if you are rolling in billions and you can set up your own Hammam service in your house, please, by all means, be nasty, be rude, throw tantrums...you can go back home and nurse your anger with your money.
But if you are just vanilla rich, like a vast majority of people that frequent such places in Lagos, you need to calm down and just behave. Ki lo de???
I see it all the time, the "Do you know who I am" or "Your madam/oga is my friend/sister/aburo/auntie" syndrome. That ish is just played out. Get over yourselves. Everybody knows somebody. Everybody can claim to be a VIP or VVIP sef.
I called a designer recently and she was so normal and chill on the phone that I had to tell everyone who would listen what had transpired. She has the right to be a diva. If she had been, I wouldn't have been surprised.
Friends, there is no need. Nobody cares about your social/political/financial status when we're all paying the same money. If you want to be treated like a queen, I beg you, build a spa/salon/restaurant in your own house. Then you can be the Diva or Bitch that you feel like being.
At least, I know there are people worse than me in this Lagos ;)
1 comment:
You should have come to me for the Massage...
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