My Friday Morning Bored and Hungry Random Musings

People dey vex me dis morning. Hunger dey worry me. Na dis kain tin wey I no dey like for Friday o. Warn yaselves.

Oya:

- Why are human beings inherently rude? Or is it a lack of home training? Why would I give you something that I spent my hard-earned naira converted to pounds to buy for you and you can barely mutter 'thanks'? Abeg, if you no want, drop am dey go. There is such a thing as "No, thank you".

- Why are balding, greying, bespectacled, well-spoken men SO attractive? Throw in dimples (and a nice smile) and nice hands and... well... *ahem*. *composing myself*)

- What is this nonsense about cassava bread that I am hearing? With everything happening in the country right now, we're talking about cassava bread?????? Filing this under things that annoy me about this country's leadership.

- The Spreh-spreh gang will soon start practicing since the abroad-ians are landing soon. Please spare me. I am not interested in your random r's and l's in random places in random words. Just smile and nod when I'm talking to you.

- I love kids. I love kids. I love kids.

- Grad school? Grad school? Grad school.

- Oga husband, where you dey nah? Abi we dey fight? Or I don meet you already? Na wetin? Thirty no dey too far oh.

- They said I am a rebel and a snob oh. Hmmmm. Okay, I will buy iPad. Donations are welcome :)

- I'm a bit rebellious sha. Thank God for the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

- Please if you ever want to uhm, sway me/win me over to your side, I have a list of things that I accept depending on what you are asking for. So there are ranges. If you are interested in this list, call me.

- Dearest lady friends of mine, if you wear a skirt/dress that is four inches above your knee and the slit is at the back, and the slit stops right under your assets: You are looking for trouble, and you will find it. Don't be alarmed when it comes knocking boldly at your door expecting a pleasant response from you.

Peace.

-One more thing, if you are a single forty-something year-old man or woman that spends your time gossiping about people, talking negatively and laughing about other people's relationships, sounding like you have nothing better to do, I genuinely feel bad for you.