My Friday Morning Bored and Hungry Random Musings

People dey vex me dis morning. Hunger dey worry me. Na dis kain tin wey I no dey like for Friday o. Warn yaselves.

Oya:

- Why are human beings inherently rude? Or is it a lack of home training? Why would I give you something that I spent my hard-earned naira converted to pounds to buy for you and you can barely mutter 'thanks'? Abeg, if you no want, drop am dey go. There is such a thing as "No, thank you".

- Why are balding, greying, bespectacled, well-spoken men SO attractive? Throw in dimples (and a nice smile) and nice hands and... well... *ahem*. *composing myself*)

- What is this nonsense about cassava bread that I am hearing? With everything happening in the country right now, we're talking about cassava bread?????? Filing this under things that annoy me about this country's leadership.

- The Spreh-spreh gang will soon start practicing since the abroad-ians are landing soon. Please spare me. I am not interested in your random r's and l's in random places in random words. Just smile and nod when I'm talking to you.

- I love kids. I love kids. I love kids.

- Grad school? Grad school? Grad school.

- Oga husband, where you dey nah? Abi we dey fight? Or I don meet you already? Na wetin? Thirty no dey too far oh.

- They said I am a rebel and a snob oh. Hmmmm. Okay, I will buy iPad. Donations are welcome :)

- I'm a bit rebellious sha. Thank God for the saving grace of Jesus Christ.

- Please if you ever want to uhm, sway me/win me over to your side, I have a list of things that I accept depending on what you are asking for. So there are ranges. If you are interested in this list, call me.

- Dearest lady friends of mine, if you wear a skirt/dress that is four inches above your knee and the slit is at the back, and the slit stops right under your assets: You are looking for trouble, and you will find it. Don't be alarmed when it comes knocking boldly at your door expecting a pleasant response from you.

Peace.

-One more thing, if you are a single forty-something year-old man or woman that spends your time gossiping about people, talking negatively and laughing about other people's relationships, sounding like you have nothing better to do, I genuinely feel bad for you.

Are crushes still legit/recognized?

Like really....

At what age is it no longer acceptable to have a crush?

The Urban Dictionary defines a crush as a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special

In secondary school, that was life. Crushes were the thing. I don't know what the kids of nowadays call their little feelings of puppy love but I am sure that most of them matured quicker than we did - thanks to TV, internet and the wonderful social networks.

So, at the ripe age of twenty-seven (Lord, I hate having to admit that I'm in my late twenties), I think I have developed something that feels like a crush. Heck, I KNOW I have a crush. *sigh*

Nothing serious. Just those puppy-dog, foolish, jittery, infatuation- like feelings....yup, all those wonderful crush-y things that I probably swore a million times as a teenager that I would never allow to happen to me again unless reciprocity was guaranteed.

Here's the thing: I  believe I am allowed to rationalize these feelings and legitimize them completely because he flirted first. 

And I'm single. 

And he's hot (*swoon*)

And I am chief flirt of....basically anywhere - just ask any of my friends.

Remember when we had Slum/Slam books in secondary school?

I was so distraught in JSS 2 when the books were being passed round and my name kept appearing for Biggest Flirt. I was mortified.

Now, call me a flirt and I'll probably just tell you: well, you want me to teach you?

Anyway, as is the case with adults, I think I have started to over-think this thing and have started to feel that somewhere between the initial flirting and the establishment of attraction, something has gone wrong...

Maybe it was my flu. Or maybe I was too forward. Or maybe I said something inappropriate. Or maybe he doesn't know that I am the most coded person on this planet. The "Or maybes" are plenty....

What I do remember about crushes is that there are two possible endings: 1. The crush dissipates usually because whoever you are crushing on doesn't feel the same way....OR 2. The crush develops into something more concrete usually because whoever you are crushing on acknowledges and feels the same way.

Can you now see why I feel that this crush is rational and legit?

Of this I am sure: That  this thing that is trying to turn me into a googly-eyed school girl will not get the better of me like the unforgiving flu I just had...

I just wonder how many doses of medicine it'll take to cure me completely.